Sit Down So I Can Bless You: The Crown & The Covenant Part III

Rethinking temple preparation as a sacred family trust.

It’s Meant to Feel Like Love

Imagine when you go to the temple for your own washing and anointing, your own endowment. You are met at the entrance by someone who is expecting you, who knows your name, and who is delighted you’ve come. You’re led through quiet, beautiful foyers and softly lit hallways until you reach a private dressing room. There, you’re instructed to clothe yourself in white.

You are then taken to washing and anointing. Within simple cloth walls, you are symbolically washed with a single drop of water and anointed with a drop of oil. You sit in a chair—like a child, or a monarch—as blessings are poured upon your head. One after another, they come, so abundant you can hardly hope to remember or comprehend them all. Nothing is asked of you except your name—and if you forget, it’s likely pinned to your chest. You’re simply invited to sit, and to soak in the love of God.

Because this is what that moment means to me: your Father in Heaven is so delighted to have you in His house, it’s as if He’s saying, “Hurry in, child. Put on your white, and sit down so I can bless you. I’ve been waiting to bless you.”

And He does.

In all our talk about temples, I believe we should focus on temple blessings and retire the phrase temple work. Your Heavenly Father isn’t trying to get you to do your chores. Attending the temple is not a burden. Your Father in Heaven wants you there so He can bless you, guide you, and empower you—to teach you more about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The temple is a place where you can make promises that will bring happiness and fulfillment. It’s a place to spend time with God. And the blessings you receive there don’t end at the temple doors; they can not only help you feel God’s presence more in your daily life but also transfer through you to everyone you interact with.

A Quiet Revolution in the Handbook

When the Church updated the General Handbook in 2020, one quiet sentence marked a profound shift in how we think about temple preparation:

“Parents have the primary responsibility to help their children prepare to receive temple ordinances.” (General Handbook 27.1.1)

For generations, we’ve talked about going to the temple. We’ve encouraged our youth to be “worthy to attend.” But this line changes the focus. It calls parents to begin the temple journey at home—to teach their children not only to enter the temple, but to understand it. To see temple worship as a way of life, not a single event.

Most parents I know have never heard this directive. And who can blame them? It was tucked quietly into a handbook update, without fanfare. Then, just weeks later, a worldwide pandemic swept in and reshaped everything. But it’s a remarkable and deliberate shift, refocusing spiritual development from the chapel to the home. The Church is essentially saying: We trust you to teach sacred things. We trust the Spirit to guide you.

What Does This Change Look Like?

This shift toward home-centered preparation was mirrored by a similar shift in formal instruction. At the time, I was called as a temple preparation instructor and told to teach with greater transparency and more detail about what actually happens in the temple. In essence, teach everything except those sacred elements we are explicitly told not to discuss outside the temple.

The Church modeled that transparency beautifully in this 2020 video about temple clothing. Maybe you’ve seen it? It’s beautifully filmed and carefully explained. I’m so proud of this video, you’d think I made it myself (I’m just proud of the Church).

Did you watch it? Isn’t it gorgeous? To me, the video’s gentle, respectful tone is perfect. It beautifully normalized ceremonial clothing by showing examples from other world religions before focusing on our own. Seeing the temple clothing and garments presented so openly helped strip away the feeling of secrecy and showed that talking about these things isn’t taboo.

Every temple prep class I taught was surprised that it shows both temple clothing and garments. I’ll never forget one participant who asked, “I’m not endowed—are you sure it’s OK for me to watch this?”

My answer was a resounding, “Yes! It’s not just OK; it’s for you.”

That question proved why the video was so necessary. It perfectly opens the door for family conversations about the temple, its clothing, and the covenants they represent. It’s a powerful reminder: it’s not just OK to talk about these things; it’s essential.

Let’s talk about the temple more in our families, not less.

Your Home-Centered Temple Library

Let me clarify—temple preparation isn’t only for those about to receive their endowment. Learning about the temple is for all of us. There is always more to learn, more to inspire, more to bring you closer to your Savior.

For this post, I’m focusing primarily on resources found on churchofjesuschrist.org. There are dozens of excellent temple preparation books, but first, let’s explore the wonderful (and often surprising) materials available on the Church website. Of course, I’ll also suggest you read The Chronicles of Narnia to your kids as temple preparation—but you expect that of me by now, right?

The greatest resource of all on the Church website is the Church Handbook. As I mentioned in Part I, until February 2020 the handbook was only accessible to bishops and stake presidents. In a breathtaking move toward transparency, the Church made it available not only to all members, but to the public. Want to know Church policy? There it is. The Church is not perfect, and neither is the handbook, which is constantly evolving, but I am a great believer that all things grow when brought into the light.

When teaching from the Church Handbook, a great place to start is Section 26 Temple Recommends. Here, you can read—and discuss—every temple recommend question and learn more about the process of obtaining a recommend. Sometimes we might slip into thinking of these questions as a checklist of “good behavior,” but in truth, they act as a guide for a Christ-centered life. Qualifying for a temple recommend requires sacrifice and commitment; it shapes a life that looks distinctly different from the world’s. Ultimately, these questions aren’t a barrier to keep people out, but a path to prepare us to enter the Lord’s house and receive His greatest blessings.

Section 27 Temple Ordinances for the Living, provides excellent descriptions of temple ordinances and detailed guidance for preparing to enter the temple. Most importantly, it outlines and explains the covenants made in the temple in remarkable detail. To me, it makes sense to talk about these covenants before attending the temple. Knowing them ahead of time allows parents to discuss temple covenants for years before a child ever commits to making them.

Section 28 focuses on Temple Ordinances for the Deceased. Many families with young children might turn to this section often, since children may begin performing baptisms the January after their 11th birthday. This section offers clear details about all temple work for the dead.

Knowing as much as possible about the temple before attending can ease fears and open the door to a richer experience.

There are many scriptures—and this Church manual—to enrich your teaching, but the crucial ones are Exodus 40:12–15 (bringing Aaron and his sons unto the door of the tabernacle), Moses 1:31–41 and chapters 2–5, and Genesis 1–3.

Embracing the “Strange Act” with Faith and Humor

I believe in taking time to explain to both kids and adults all the practicalities of going to the temple—how to make an appointment, what to wear, how to buy temple clothing and garments. Even small details like parking or what the locker room looks like can calm nerves and make space for deeper spiritual experiences. If you have the opportunity, attend a temple open house.

Remember that temple rituals are ancient—older than the world itself—and can feel unfamiliar to our modern minds. The temple is the Lord’s “strange act, that I may pour out my Spirit upon all flesh” (Doctrine and Covenants 95:4).

The temple can feel strange, especially for those of us used to very simple sacrament meetings. And that’s OK. When I watch an Indian wedding ceremony, the customs and rituals are very different from my own—but that doesn’t make them any less meaningful. The temple has its own language, its own culture of symbolism. Sometimes we don’t fully understand our own rituals, but understanding takes time, reverence, and curiosity—not dismissal

Attending services of other faiths can deepen our appreciation for sacred ritual. I especially recommend a Jewish Shabbat service or a Catholic Mass. Both are easily accessible. In my own experience attending both Shabbat and Mass, you will be warmly welcomed and invited to participate as you feel comfortable.

Perhaps my most important piece of temple prep advice: have fun with it. We take our covenants seriously, but we shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously. As President Hinckley often quipped, “If we’re not finding joy in the gospel, we’re doing it wrong.”

Lean into the humor of temple life. Talk about the awkwardness of buying garments for the first time. Laugh about those funny carpet bags everyone carries. Tell your kids about the people who fill their pockets with white mints and how the crackling wrapper always seems loudest at the worst possible moment. Be honest about how often people fall asleep—or forget one shoe. Remind your kids that the temple workers are human just like you and me, and can make mistakes too. The temple is a holy experience, but it is also a very human experience.

Prepare your loved ones for the days when they’ll be desperate to hear from God and every red light will make them late, when they’ll burst into tears in the chapel (don’t worry, there are Kleenex everywhere), or when they might not feel any inspiration at all—until later, while putting three little boys to bed, and the Spirit whispers, “You are exactly where you are supposed to be.”

And remember, we are not meant to understand it all. We are children walking in heavenly paths.

Preparing to Play the Music of Heaven

One last analogy: when my children learned to play string instruments, their early lessons were full of strange drills and bow exercises that seemed to have little to do with actual music. But after months of practice, when a violin was finally placed in their tiny hands, they knew exactly how to hold it—how to draw the bow, how to let the music sing.

I suspect that as much as we think we know, we are like those tiny violinists—questioning the drills and exercises, carefully being prepared by a loving Father in Heaven to play the music of heaven.

Every time I walk into the temple, I feel that same quiet invitation: Come in, my child. Sit down so I can bless you. I’ve come to believe that temple worship isn’t meant to feel like work—it’s meant to feel like love.

And when we teach our children to see it that way, we change everything. We’re not just preparing them for a day or a ceremony; we’re teaching them how God feels about them. We’re teaching them that He rejoices when they walk through those doors. We’re teaching them that He’s been waiting, all along, to bless them.

So, How Do We Start?

Let’s talk about the temple more in our families, not less. That’s the goal. But what are the best ways to do this? How do we move from a noble intention to a natural practice? I’d love to read your ideas in the comments. I’d also like to know books, talks, and other resources you find valuable.